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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?